True love

It’s Valentine’s week, as if you could ignore it. Every year the pressure is on to deliver chocolates or flowers or cards to those you love. It’s an industry of course, but that doesn’t totally explain the volume of ads in all forms of social media about how best to show our love.  The ads started over a month ago and will not relent until the end of this week.

As with many holidays, the origins of Valentine’s Day are brutal. People died or were executed and martyred . Although the Roman Catholic Church continues to recognize St. Valentine as a saint of the church, he was removed from the General Roman Calendar in 1969 because of the lack of reliable information about him. He is the patron saint of lovers, epileptics, and beekeepers.  As for the day itself, it wasn’t until the mid 18th Century that the idea of sending greeting cards caught on, and gifts of chocolate and roses came soon after.

The internet is full of ideas for how to avoid the pressure of Valentine’s Day, particularly if you are single and not in a relationship. Probably the best way is to plan something else to do, turn off social media and TV, take a hike or in some way disengage from the media attention.

Another way to cope with Valentine’s Day is to address it head on. If you do have a significant other, try to avoid the trap of red roses and chocolate (unless of course you love chocolate, in which case go for it!). Cook something special; make your own card; go see a funny movie.  If you are single, focus on members of your family that you love. You can just tell them you love them even if there is no gift involved. You can also be especially kind to someone on the 14th who may be alone. The important thing about Valentine’s Day is to recognize the many ways others have set expectations for what should happen and make your own decision about how to spend the day or week in a manner that suits you.

However you cope, remember that “true love” has many meanings and there are many ways to express how you feel.