My very old (in terms of years known) friend Vesta sent me some things she had been thinking about and thought would be good information to share on our blog. I agreed and will try to use her words when possible, while adding some of my own words as well. These thoughts are things we all know we should consider and plan for, but very few of us do.
Vesta lives in a 55+ community and one of her neighbors died recently. She owned a cute little dog but no one in her family was able or willing to take her. The neighbors did not want to see her euthanized or taken to the shelter. The ones who would have taken her already had a dog and the HOA only allows one dog per home. The HOA called a special meeting, voted and allowed one person to have two dogs, thus this problem was solved in the best possible way. Would this have happened if the owner had made prior arrangements for the dog? What happens to the bird, the cat or even the pet lizard? Vesta and I are dog lovers and both of us have rescue dogs. Obviously not every pet owner has a person willing to take their pets if they die, but it is something we should plan for.
How many of us have talked to our families and/or a close friend (or even our partners) about what we want if we become ill or incapacitated or die? This is not necessarily about formal/legal solutions like Powers of Attorney, POLSTS (Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment) or Advance Directives but basic things that we can address in advance.
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- What type of living arrangements do you want if you can no longer live alone? Assisted living, board and care, in-home care, move nearer to family? There may be limitations to this choice but it certainly does not hurt to plan and discuss with family and friends.
- Does anyone have a key to your home in case they need to come in
- What about all the things you have accumulated? Estate sale, garage sale, charitable donations?
- What about special things you may want to go to a specific person? Jewelry, artwork, Christmas ornaments, things your kids or grandkids gave you, antiques, family photographs? Do you make a list describing the items and where they came from and who they should go to? Do you put labels with names on specific pieces
- What about financial issues? Have you shared the locations of important documents like trusts or wills and name of attorney with family and friends?
- Does someone know your passwords, have your banking information, know how you receive and pay bills?
- What about your final arrangements? Small celebration of life, large religious funeral, burial, cremation, ashes scattered in your favorite vacation spot, organ donation?
Maybe most people are better prepared than I, because I have dealt with very few of these. We do not need to spend the rest of our lives worrying about what will come next, but a little time spent on preparation will make our futures easier for us and so much simpler and more comfortable for our family and friends. Thanks to my good friend Vesta for inspiring me to address these sometimes difficult issues.