Last night I got up to pee at 3 AM. It was dark and I didn’t notice that the toilet seat was up. I fell in.
This sparked a spirited discussion with my husband about who should put the seat up or down after they pee.
This dilemma applies to all genders and it depends on whether or not you have more than one bathroom, who uses it the most, and what you do when you visit someone else. If you have already resolved this, you can stop reading now. But if there are lingering questions, read on…..
The first thing is to determine the default position of the toilet seat and who should be responsible for restoring it to the default position when they are finished using it. Is the default position down? If so, if someone puts it up to pee, they should put it back down, right? Toilets come with a cover. That implies that perhaps the default position should be down. But if you don’t agree on the default position, you have to negotiate a solution with others with whom you share your bathroom.
These issues can spark arguments and conflict among friends and partners, and have done so ever since there was a toilet seat to use. Someone who pees standing up (ok it could be a woman but usually is not) has to bend over and raise the seat to pee. That takes extra critical time and effort if you are in a hurry. The other side of that argument is that if the toilet seat is up and you want it down, all you have to do is tip it and it falls back to the default position. Doesn’t take as much time or effort.
But what if one person who uses the toilet uses it many more times than the other person who shares the bathroom? Should the person who uses it more get to position the seat the way they want it?
And what if you are of the gender who stands up and you visit a household of people who all put it down, should you be respectful and put it down? Or vice versa? You use the down default but all your friends or people you visit leave it up? Is it merely an issue of consideration and politeness?
My question to you readers is: should we all agree that a toilet seat belongs in the down default position, and everyone should restore it to that position no matter when or how many times they use it?
Your comments would be appreciated. Please share with friends and maybe a solution can be found. Surely this is an issue that crosses most cultures, time zones and applies in any situation that has a toilet at all. Outhouses have no seat at all!
I am a couples therapist. I deal with process and not content. But this would be a great topic for practicing emotional connection. Hasn’t come up yet.
It’s all very well until you have one of those pesky automatic closing seats. I was in a rush, threw the seat back, and it slowly started to close but I was already facing the other direction. Hit the seat as it was half way down and was catapulted into the wall of the shower, slamming my shoulder into the basin which I ripped off the wall on one side. Oh yes, I can hear you laughing, as am I, but I left more than a sprinkle on the seat, the wall and the floor. So which is better? Down, of course.
Oh my that’s quite the story!! Yes toilet seats can be a threat in so many ways!! I love that this post hit a nerve with many different readers!
I got a good laugh at your falling in. Sorry. I remember when it’s happened to me years ago. I’m single so it’s no longer an issue. I guess I would check before I sat down to be safe.
Down, with the cover also down. Studies have shown that flushing with the cover up disperses an aerosol from the bowl; not good!
I would challenge nearly all men to prove they can hit the bowl all the time with the seat down and not get secondary spray on the seat. and will put up money if they want to bet.
Not sure how I’d react as a guest if I were required to sit down to pee…
The sitting down for men is a big deal apparently. But thanks for the suggestion about putting the seat down. The disagreement goes on in our house!
Down is the correct position. But let’s remember, that putting the toilet seat up is a courtesy. A guy can pee with the toilet seat down just fine — but may get some pee on the seat, which the rest of us would not like.
Down is my choice
Otherwise down I fall
Where no one wants to visit
Not now, not ever!
Down for certain!!
My significant other sits for #1 and requests that male guests do likewise. He does not want any urine landing on the floor. Disgusting!
I agree but hard to persuade some guys I know!!