We all have moments of decision in our lives. But few moments are as difficult as deciding where we will live our remaining years. We may have moved many times in our life, but we get to the point when the next move could very well be the last one. The “final destination” as they say. Should we stay where we are and hope we can be there until the end or should we go — somewhere else? Maybe a smaller home, a retirement community, or even “assisted living.” There is precious little guidance available for individuals and their families, and the decision can become a very stressful and divisive one.
What are the signs that a decision may be needed sooner than you thought? Maybe it’s that little fender bender you had — it could have happened to anyone, right? Or the appointment you forgot, or a house repair that should have been made long before, or in some cases, a disease or health condition that takes a turn for the worse. It’s not just that you forgot the name of the actress in the movie you saw last week, or the fall you had because you were running to get the phone and tripped on some shoes. There comes a moment when the decision stares you in the face and it can no longer be ignored. Should you stay or should you go?
This post and the ones that follow will explore some of the choices that you may face and hopefully provide you with some ideas and resources to make the decision, before the decision is taken out of your hands. My husband and I had to make such a decision last year, and it was not easy. We hated to give up the autonomy we had in our own home and become part of a more “institutional” community. We did not like the idea that this would be our last move. Now that we have been where we are for several years, we recognize it was a good move for us. The health care support we have and the ease of living where light bulbs are changed, housekeeping comes every other week, evening dinners have a dozen choices, and our daughter and grandson can more easily visit us — all that persuades us that we are in the right place.