(See fire update below)
We have all had the experience of hearing a song and recalling a specific memory attached to it. We were on a beautiful beach or a particularly romantic date, and the song that is playing sticks in your mind forever. That is the beauty of music memory. Music attaches to images and experiences in the way words can never do. In fact, music and the words to songs remain in the brain long after other brain functions fade. Oliver Sacks, in his book Musicophilia, writes of the many ways music and lyrics can endure, long after speech has disappeared, and how music can be used as therapy. We have all witnessed people with alzheimers or dementia “awakening” to music, singing along in perfect harmony with all the lyrics, when they cannot carry on a conversation otherwise. When I attend a musical event, I enjoy watching the residents of our Memory Care unit mouthing the words to every song. It makes me so happy to know those memories are still alive.
But this post is not about music memory. I may write more about that later. It is about a particular song that has been haunting me for a few weeks. When my husband died in July last year, we put together a video montage of his life, accompanied by specific songs he had loved — songs by Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard, John Denver, Dave Brubeck. One of the songs, “Country Roads” by John Denver was Gary’s favorite, because, while it referred to West Virginia which he had never visited, it described the country road that led to our house in Santa Cruz where we lived for 40 years. “Country roads — take me home — to the place I belong — West Virginia, mountain mama, take me home, country roads.” More than any other song, that one epitomized his love of our country home, where we raised pigs, chickens, goats, a lamb, some horses and ponies, and a garden lush with corn and tomatoes. When I hear that song, it strikes an arrow to my heart because it reminds me of him, our life together, and a specific place.
So imagine this scenario — it has been almost six months since he died. We were in Cabo San Lucas as a family for the week between Christmas and New Years. We had a little golf cart to tool around in, and had gone to see the Christmas lights at the posh hotel near where we were staying. Every tree had hundreds of small lights wrapped around them, so driving through them was magic. As we passed a hotel DJ, we heard him singing….yes, you guessed…”Country Roads”! We looked at each other in astonishment and started belting it out ourselves as we drove by. “Country roads, take me home….” What were the odds THAT song would be playing, in Mexico, at Christmas, at that specific time? Was it a sign? Was dad speaking to us, reminding us of him and our lives together? We concluded that it was a coincidence for sure, but it made us all happy and a little sad at the same time.
A week later….it was my daughter’s birthday. As she was driving, up popped a reel of a couple of guys in a car singing “Country Roads” on her Instagram. Ok. Did AI “hear” her mentioning it to someone? She hadn’t played it on Spotify but maybe it was on a list she made for the Memorial. How did AI find that particular song for that particular moment? We decided it was a way for dad to say happy birthday, although he would have been highly skeptical it was anything more than a coincidence. Still….
As the world of AI develops, there will be more ghosts that pop up, more coincidences that are simply random occurrences digging into our collective memory. The very fact that I “tagged” this song in this post makes it more likely I will hear it again. But if this happens again, I am going to be very suspicious and very very happy. Take me home, country road.
and by the way… I was evacuated from my place in Altadena this past week but am safe with my daughter and grandson in LA. Our community Monte Cedro still stands and is fine outside and in. We were spared the raging fire around it . More later when my computer is fully functional!