By Nancy Healey:
Have you ever moved from one home and area that you loved to a new home in a place you have never lived before? I still remember the first day we moved away from Maryland, where I was very involved and had a lot of friends, to Michigan where the snow was still on the ground in March. I dropped my kids off at their new elementary school. My furniture had not arrived from Maryland and going to an empty house did not appeal to me, so I figured a trip to the mall would make me feel better. It had exactly the opposite effect, because of course I did not see anyone I knew and even the stores were not the same. To make it even worse, it seemed that everyone was with someone or in a group laughing and having fun. I went home and cried in my empty house until I had to pick up my kids from school.
Even then I realized that this was a temporary problem and that I would meet new people and become involved in the community again. However, for many seniors this is not a temporary situation, but sadly it is a long-term problem that affects most aspects of their lives.
Early in the pandemic U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy MD released a book saying America is experiencing a loneliness epidemic. Artist-writer Kristen Radtke’s book Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness looks at the emotional dimensions of loneliness. She writes that loneliness is “the space between the relationships you have and the relationships you want. Loneliness is often exacerbated by a perception that one is lonely while everyone is connected. It is exaggerated by a sensation of being outside something that others seem to be in on: a family, a couple, a friendship, a joke. Perhaps now we can learn how flawed that kind of thinking is, because loneliness is one of the most universal things a person can feel.”
More than 40 percent of our over 65 population experience loneliness, according to a University of California, San Francisco study. The UCSF researchers found that this feeling of separation and disconnection can be predictive of serious health problems and even death. Many healthcare professionals working with seniors have recommended that it be diagnosed and treated with the same emphasis applied to any other disease or chronic condition.
Statistics on loneliness are compelling and disturbing:
-
- Loneliness increases the likelihood of mortality by 26 percent.
- Lacking social connections is as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes.
- Coronary bypass patients who report feeling lonely have a mortality rate 5 times higher than other patients 30 days post-surgery.
- Lonely individuals have a 64 percent increased chance of developing clinical dementia.
- People who are lonely report 5 percent more severe symptoms in the common cold than those who are less lonely.
- Those who are extremely socially isolated cost about $130 per month more in Medicare spending than their non- or less-isolated counterparts.
“It is clear than loneliness is taking a heavy toll on our nation’s seniors,” according to Tamara Lynn Meadows RN-BC, Director of Clinical Operations for a leading provider of senior living services. She attributes this to the growing number of seniors who live alone. Figures from the US Census Bureau and the Administration on Aging shed light on these numbers. In 2015 12.5 million seniors live in one-person households which represented 28 percent of the 65+ age group. The Administration on Aging notes that 72 percent of men over 65 are married and living with someone while only 45 percent of women are married, and 37 percent are widowed. Almost half of women over 75 live alone. People over 65 have an average life expectancy of close to 20 years, and that is a long time to live alone.
Another contributing factor is that more and more older adults do not have children, and that means there are fewer family members to provide care and companionship. Ms. Meadows also points out that even those seniors who live with family are frequently alone much of the time while their children and grandchildren are involved in work and activities outside the home.
Linda P Fried, MD, MPH, Dean of Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health, writes that the Covid-19 pandemic further increased the risk and reality of older adult loneliness and isolation. The ageist narratives suggested that the need to protect older people from Covid was causing everyone else to suffer from the economic consequences of the lockdowns. This caused seniors to feel even further singled out and separated from the rest of the population.
Dr. Fried argues that many of the conditions for loneliness are socially constructed. She writes that older adult loneliness is the product of society-level ageism, “which makes older individuals invisible and devalued in society, and age segregation in housing and in work and volunteer roles have resulted in the United States being the most age-segregated society in the history of the world, with loss of intergenerational contact and solidarity.”
An important first step in lessening senior loneliness is to spot the signs of social isolation. Seniors may withdraw and become isolated for many reasons: having no local network of family or friends, recent loss of a spouse or friends, chronic illness, failing memory, loss of hearing, fear of falling and loss of ability to drive. Tamara Lynn Meadows says the key to spotting and addressing loneliness is “listening closely, observing vigilantly, and encouraging seniors to share what they’re thinking and feeling.” Then a plan can be developed to help them connect better with the world around them.
There are many avenues available to help seniors combat loneliness. I hope you are one of the lucky ones who does not feel alone or isolated. Please share that with us and feel grateful.