It’s no exaggeration to say that this is a very important week in our civic lives. I assume all of our American subscribers will have voted by now, or at least will vote tomorrow. To ease the tension of this week, I found a few lame and really corny political jokes to share. Please feel free to pitch in with some of your own!
- If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of Progress?
- “Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for ‘That One.’ And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn’t think I’d ever run for president.” —Barack Obama, 44th U.S. President
- “My choice early in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician.” —Harry S. Truman, 33rd U.S. President
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Q: What’s the difference between death and taxes?
A: Congress doesn’t meet every year to make death worse. - Republicans and Democrats came together in Congress to allow medicinal marijuana for the purpose of relieving arthritis pain. So, there is joint support for joints for joint support.
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Q: Why can’t Congress ever be vegan?
A: Because all the turkeys playing chicken in a beef over pork is pretty fishy. -
Q: Why can’t you let a politician on a plane?
A: Because he’ll keep trying to destroy the other wing. -
A priest, a politician and a clown walk into the bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
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Q: Why isn’t the government displaying a Nativity scene this Christmas?
A: They can’t find three wise men. -
When I was a kid, my dad always told me anyone could become president. Now that I’m an adult, I believe it … and it gives me nightmares!
- : What’s the most unfair thing about American politics?
A: We get 50 choices for Miss America, but only two for the president of America.
- “My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.” —Jimmy Carter, 39th U.S. president
And your suggestions?