In my last post I discussed the Ready or Not series of classes I am taking through Conejo Valley Village. I was a little hesitant at first to think more about any end of life issues because, of course, it would be years before I needed to make plans like this. Then I remembered all the friends who were super healthy, until suddenly they were not. I have found Ready or Not to be a great motivator for me and totally not scary. The paperwork issues were not fun or exciting, but I have made progress in ensuring that my family and I will know where things are and what my wishes are.
There is an amazing amount of information on the internet about getting your life in order. I learned about a book, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Make Your Loved Ones’ Lives Easier and Your Own Life More Pleasant by Margaret Magnusson. The title comes from combining Swedish words “do” (death) and “standing” (cleaning). Magnusson is Swedish and describes herself as being somewhere between 80 and 100. She has cleaned out her parents’ home, friends’ homes, and her own home after her husband died. While Magnusson says the benefits for you with Swedish death cleaning can be life changing, it is truly doing a giant favor for those who survive you.
The benefits of death cleaning for those you leave behind are very obvious. You will save them hours, weeks or even years of having to go through your things, making decisions that would have been much easier for you to make.
Magnusson says that in addition to the benefits to your loved ones, dostadning has many benefits for us. “Death cleaning is not about dusting or mopping up; it is about a permanent form of organization that makes your everyday life run more smoothly,” Magnusson explains. She said the process of going through old things and remembering what they meant to you can actually be enjoyable.
Sarah DiGuilo of NBC News highlighted some of the personal benefits of Swedish Death Cleaning.
1) It may make us happier. Rosellina Ferraro, PhD, Associate Professor at University of Maryland Smith School of Business, says the process of paring down what we have around us allows us to become more focused on the really important things in life like our relationships and experiences. Ferraro, whose research focuses on consumer behavior and psychology, says the tremendous amount of products we have and have access to can become overwhelming. She writes that the idea of decluttering and streamlining our lives resonates, because it pushes back against our sometimes crazy chaotic world.
2) It might help you feel less stressed and overwhelmed – and get more done. Amy Morin, author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” explains that you may find yourself less stressed and more focused when your living space is cleaner and more organized. She writes that having fewer things to worry about can make your life more manageable from practical everyday chores, to larger projects, and to problems you face. Multiple research studies have linked clutter with stress and decreased productivity. Other studies have shown that clutter can actually make it harder for the brain to focus on a specific task because the visual cortex gets distracted by the irrelevant information you take in.
3) It may help you better cope with the reality of your own mortality. It is very difficult to think about or talk about death. Amy Morin writes that getting rid of things can be a reminder that nothing lasts forever including us. Going through our things reminds us of who we are, how we see ourselves, and what we would like our legacy to be. There is also a practical aspect that we will be much more prepared to react to any health issues requiring a lifestyle change, if we have pared down and organized our things.
I have started cleaning out my accumulation of almost 35 years in the house I love. I would love to stay here forever but recognize that may not be possible. Some suggestions I have found helpful in this process are the following:
– Let your family and friends know you are doing this. It can be a positive way to share your stories and memories and will help keep you accountable.
– Start with clothing and less personal things. It is easier to build momentum with things in your closet that you clearly no longer use and then move on to things that may be more sentimental and difficult.
– It is okay to keep some things that are especially sentimental to you. If you know they will not be meaningful to anyone else, a good suggestion is to put them together with a note that they can be thrown away if you are not enjoying them any more.
– Giving treasured things to friends and family is a way to let them know how much they have meant in your life. I was very moved recently when a friend asked her family to give me her 50 year collection of Dodger momentos.
– There are many good nonprofits and charities who can ensure that the clothing and things you no longer need will be donated to people whose lives can be changed by them. Once you have decided what you want to donate, it is easier to get it out of your house as soon as possible.
– If you have valuable things, it may be necessary to hire a good company to help determine correct valuations and handle any type sale you may want to have.
– It can be equally as important to clean out and declutter your computer applications. It is imperative to have a list of your passwords to enable someone to have access to your accounts for bill paying.
– Having all your important documents (deeds, insurance information, health information, etc.) in one place can make it so much easier for anyone who steps in to help when needed. It is critical that the location of these documents is known to others.
– Continuing with your decluttering on a regular basis is very important for a person like me who tends to accumulate clutter as long as I can close the cabinet or closet door.
Magnusson recommends starting death cleaning around age 65 but because it is really a lifestyle change you can start anytime. This is not something you should try to start and finish in a week, a month or a year but something you can continue to do a little at a time. As we grow older, many of us will feel the need to downsize and make our lives simpler. I started my own way of decluttering about 6 weeks ago and have been amazed at how much pleasure I have gotten from going through old things and deciding what was really important to me and donating what was not. I have never considered myself to be a highly organized person but it is great to actually know where to find all the things I chose to keep.
I did not anticipate that I would really enjoy this little (107 pages) book but have found it is very easy reading. Magnusson’s writing style manages to deal with sensitive issues with gentleness and even humor and somehow made the whole process seem a lot less overwhelming to me.