Am I ready…or not?

It is very comfortable assuming that my life will simply continue in the same easy way it has for years.  I have lived in the house I love for almost 35 years and have filled it with lots of personal treasures.  My goal is to remain healthy and live in my home for as long as I can; my hope is that I will be able to do so for many years; however, there is no guarantee that I will achieve this goal.

Conejo Valley Village, a wonderful senior organization I belong to, recently started a series of classes called Ready or Not.  This program is designed to provide information and tools to help the people in my life who are left behind if I am gone or become unable to speak for myself.  It is to help me gather and organize information about my important contacts, legal matters, health records, financial affairs, and my everyday practical activities.  It provides an opportunity for me to evaluate my current living situation in terms of what would happen if this changed suddenly.

It surely sounds like these classes would be a win-win for me.  Then why did I initially think that I would not want to participate?  I believe the answer is that it is very difficult for me, and probably others, to even entertain the thought that my current life would end – either because I am not physically able to continue as is or because I am deceased.  I really had to think about it, and I finally decided that just getting prepared did not mean that something would happen to change my happy life.

So, in addition to taking part in our Ready or Not program, I started doing research on some basic things I could do now to ensure that my financial and health affairs are in order.  There are many questions, and most take a good deal of personal consideration.  I don’t have to have all the answers today, but it is a good time to begin thinking about them.  I use the term “family” here, but these questions can apply to anyone who will be responsible for you if you become incapacitated or die.

– Do I have or need a will or a trust?  If I have one, is it updated and current?

– Do I understand the difference between wills and trusts?

– Do I have or need an Advance Directive, also called a living will and healthcare proxy?

– Do I have or want to have a POLST, which is a Physician Order for Life Sustaining Treatment?

– Do I have or need a Power of Attorney, a legal document which allows a person to appoint an agent to act on their behalf if they become incapacitated or unable to function?  Who would I appoint to be my agent?

– Does my family know my feelings about life-saving treatments such as ventilation, dialysis, chemotherapy, CPR, artificial nutrition and hydration, or medications/procedures to restart my heart?

– Do my family and I understand what hospice and palliative care are and how they differ?

– Does my family know my end-of-life treatment preferences?

– Do my family and I understand what Death with Dignity or physician-assisted suicide is?

– Have I discussed with my family where I would prefer to be when my end of life is near: home, hospice at home or in a medical facility, skilled nursing facility, hospital?

– Is there money set aside for any final resting expenses?

– Does my family know my final resting preferences – burial, cremation, green burial?

– Does my family know what type of religious service or memorial service (if any), I would prefer?

– Do I want a published obituary or death announcement?  What should it include? Who should write it?

Any discussions and/or planning that involves serious illness or death are difficult to consider and even harder to discuss with family and friends.  It may seem unnecessary to have this conversation as long as a person is healthy and well.  However, most of us have seen how someone’s health can change in a moment’s time. It is very important to discuss and document a person’s wishes while they are of sound mind and body.

I have found many helpful articles online that address end-of-life planning and important legal and health documents that are applicable in every state. As difficult as illness and end-of-life care may be to discuss, making these decisions ahead of time offers peace of mind to both the person and those responsible for carrying out their wishes.  It is not too early to start.