A loving tribute to my friend and friendship

I met my friend Vesta the first day I walked into my new job as a claims representative at Prudential Insurance in May 1990.   It was not only a new job for me but also a totally new field.  I was 46 years old and was sure I would be the oldest trainee ever hired.  Seeing Vesta among all the twenty somethings in the office gave me hope for my Prudential future.  She was 5 years younger than I but close enough that each of us immediately saw a kindred spirit in the other.  It was also a new career for her, and we were both only children, so we had lots in common from the start.  What a gift she was!

Most of our coworkers were recent college graduates and amazingly Vesta and I fit in quickly with them.  We were invited to get togethers, engagement parties and weddings.  I could have gone to them without Vesta, but it was so much more fun with her.

No one ever thinks of insurance as an exciting field, but during our time as claims representatives, our team handled the 1993 Malibu Fire and the January 17, 1994 Northridge Earthquake, at that time the costliest natural disaster in US history.  Vesta and I visited the properties, handed out large checks and saw up close what a large disaster can do to an entire community.  I don’t think this was a big deal to our more experienced coworkers, but we were both impressed with the small roles we played.

Shortly after I left for another job at Cigna in 1995, Prudential closed their Woodland Hills office.  Vesta and several others joined me at Cigna, and we worked together there until 1998 when once again our office was closed and we were out of jobs.  Job loss and the search for another is always difficult, but having Vesta to share it with, to complain to and even laugh with made it somehow ok.  We both got new jobs and moved on to different companies.

We never worked together again but remained friends until she left us on January 12 this year.  After we both retired, we regularly had lunch together.  Monday, October 4 last year, was our last lunch.  It was at ChiChi’s in Simi Valley and we sat outside.  We talked about our kids, her dog Pepper and my dogs Charlie and Sweetie, and our wonderful grandkids like we always did and also about her recent trip back to Ohio with her son Ben for her high school reunion.  Vesta had a bucket list item of visiting every major league baseball stadium in the country, so they visited the Baltimore Orioles’ Camden Yard Stadium which she loved.  It looked like a storm was coming when we finished lunch so we discussed whether we could each get home before it hit.  She walked away to pick up something at Smart and Final and we said goodbye.  Such a nice regular afternoon and that was the last time I saw her.

When Vesta learned how serious her illness was In November, she said she would like to attend one more Pru get together.  Our group has continued to see each other since 1996 when the office was closed.  The holiday/Vesta celebration party was scheduled for December 19, but she was not feeling well enough to join everyone who had gathered to see her.

Today I read how her son Ben had described his mom in a Facebook post: brilliant, witty, absolutely hilarious, always herself, never wavered from who she was.   She was a very unique friend.  You could have shared with her the very worst thing you thought you had done in life, and it would not affect your friendship.  I think she saw her friends at their best no matter what, and this is a wonderful characteristic in a friend.

We had many deep discussions ranging from politics, climbing Mount Everest, the best mysteries we had read and the benefits of an Apple Watch.  I went through our old texts back to 2017 and laughed again at the funny things she said or sent me.  She was able to point out some of the ridiculous things in the world around us with such humor that it helped me to laugh at them and not feel overwhelmed by them.

I recently read an article about letting our friends know how much we appreciate them and what it is about them that makes them so special to us.  I only wish I had seen it before our last lunch on October 4, and I could have shared some of what I have written today.  A good friend is one of the most wonderful gifts we will ever get and something to be treasured and acknowledged.  Dear old friend Vesta, I hope it is not too late for me to pass on these thoughts to you.  Thanks for 31 years of friendship.