A love letter to my slightly older friends

From Nancy Healey:

I have a very well-meaning friend who is slightly older than I am and who frequently suggests that I should make some younger friends instead of spending so much time with people in our slightly older age group.  She thinks I am aging before my time because so many of my activities involve other seniors.   I tried explaining that I am the age I am, no matter who my friends are.  Having young friends could be fun, but I am seldom around young people since retiring 17 years ago. My friend actively chose not to join any senior organizations or participate in activities at her local senior center after retirement, because she genuinely feels that most of us are simply too boring.

I am very happy with my senior friends, don’t find them boring, and cannot remember a time when having friends was more important to me.  More aches and pains, memory lapses, and losses of friends and family are just some of challenges we all face as we age.   It is so much easier to handle setbacks and problems when you have empathic, non-judgmental people in your life.

Just a few of the ways my senior friends make my life better:

• • If I tell a story and get totally lost in the middle of it or simply cannot remember a name, my friends are always ready to say that the same thing happens to them all the time.
  • I felt bad recently because I had just added another medical specialist to my already large group. My friend listened and then assured me that she had one more specialist than I did – and it was a proctologist.  I don’t know why but this made me feel better.
  • When I tell friends about a silly thing I did, they frequently match my story with one of their own involving doing an even sillier thing.
  • When I share a concern about my health and aging, my friends listen patiently and offer their thoughts if needed. They don’t minimize my concerns or assure me everything will be fine.  It is hard to overstate how much this has meant to me during difficult periods.
  • There is no better way for me to get new and fresh perspectives when making important decisions than to discuss them with friends with many years of life experiences.
  • The most important thing my friends bring to my life is very simple; they make my life fuller and happier. Whether we play cards, spend the afternoon painting, take trips together, or just talk, my days are so much better when I share them with friends.There are many articles and studies supporting the benefits of having friends as we age.  A few of them noted in these studies are as follows:

• • Friendships reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.
  • Friendships help keep our brains active and sharp.
  • Friendships help support our physical health by keeping us more active.
  • Friendships create a sense of belonging, allowing us to feel part of something bigger than ourselves.

There seems to be total agreement among experts that keeping our old friends and developing new friendships are positive for our mental and physical health.  New friendships can be made as we age by joining senior organizations, taking part in activities at local senior centers, and volunteering in our communities.

Even if there were no physical or mental benefits that come with having friendships as we age, I personally know that my senior friends make my life fuller and happier and simply more fun every day.  Thanks to all of you who continue to make my older years the best they can be.