Nancy Healey posted this a few weeks ago, but many of you received a notice that our website was not “safe.” That issue has been solved, but we are reposting in case you were not able to access this post at that time.
About six months ago I was talking with a friend about what I see as the many benefits of aging in place. I explained that the house I have lived in for 36 years has become very important to me, and I am afraid that I will really miss it when I move. My friend’s response was, “Don’t worry; it is just a house, Nancy.” She lives in a state-of-the-art continuing care community, which she loves. She treasures the feeling of security it provides and the many activities available. She does not understand my hesitation about leaving my home.
I decided to do some research on how other seniors feel about their homes and their concerns about leaving them. The National Institute on Aging says that the concept of home is heavy with meaning no matter who you are. Many people define themselves by where their home is located, the type of home they live in, how they decorate it, and how they maintain their lawn and greenery. Our homes are an important part of how we present ourselves to the world.
To seniors the concept of home may mean even more than it does to younger people. It is human nature to want to belong somewhere and to be surrounded by things that make us happy. Many seniors, including me, have lived in their homes for a long time and are attached to familiar surroundings and neighborhoods, which provide a sense of comfort and security.
As we age, we can have strong emotional ties to the home where we raised families, entertained friends, and created memories over the years. The personal belongings we have accumulated become very important, and we do not want to part with them if moving to a smaller location. Many of these things remind of us where and when we got them and who we were with. The Institute on Aging says that being surrounded by well-known and recognizable things and rooms is especially comforting when older adults are struck by the loss of so many familiar things
Many seniors have established relationships with neighbors, churches, friends and local service providers in their communities. Staying in our homes allows us to maintain these comfortable connections and social interactions. These all contribute to seniors maintaining their sense of control over their environment and daily routines, contributing to their sense of well-being.
A tremendous benefit for those who are able to continue living in their home Is a feeling of independence. The ability to set and follow your own schedule and generally have control of your daily agenda is a significant contributor to a sense of well-being.
According to Forbes Health, 92 percent of older adults surveyed prefer to live out their later years in their current homes while 8 percent said they would prefer to move to assisted living. A report from the USC Leonard Davis School of Gerontology notes that while some seniors may be more comfortable with the level of assistance offered by senior living, the vast majority of them prefer to continue living in their homes as long as safely possible.
Now that I have learned that I am not alone and many seniors feel as I do, I have tried to understand what it is about my home that makes it so special to me. We moved to California and our home in June 1988. It was the beginning of my life with both kids away in college and just Tom and me sharing our new home for the first time in 22 years.
Tom had picked out and bought our new home without anyone else seeing it, which can be a little scary. Two of the first things I noticed were its wonderful floor to ceiling windows and super ugly orange carpeting in several rooms. It was smaller than our prior house, but It was very unique and totally seemed like a California house to us. It definitely needed lots of loving care and renovation. We added hardwood flooring throughout, put pavers on the driveway and pool deck area, knocked out a wall, built new front and back decks, extended both bathrooms, and totally changed the exterior from brown to white and grey. Each change made it feel more like it was made for us.
Our home is in one of the oldest neighborhoods in Thousand Oaks, which is not old compared to homes on the East Coast. There are no sidewalks or streetlights, which contribute to the feeling of being in the country. Our lot is 7/10 acre with about 20 orange, lemon, apricot and avocado trees. I had never dreamed of picking oranges or avocados in my own yard. I have always loved working outdoors, but this large yard offered so many possibilities. Each time I had to deal with a crisis of any kind, including Covid, I found solace and happiness simply by putting in new plants, taking out old plants, and adding lots of rocks. Every year since losing Tom, I have added a new garden area. After my friend who shared many plants with me passed away, I decided to make a friendship garden filled with plants from her and other friends who had shared with me.
Our family history in this home included adding a wonderful son-in-law and daughter-in-law and five amazing grandchildren. We celebrated graduations from elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and graduate school along with dance recitals and soccer and baseball games. Together we dealt with very challenging health issues. Six dogs graced our lives and loved to run free in our large yard.
I have visited senior facilities as a Long Term Care Ombudsman for more than 15 years and understand it is extremely likely that I will need to move into some type of congregate living situation in the future. But I will always treasure the years in this home and know it is a lot more than a house to me. It has provided me with shelter and security and has been my refuge from the outside world when I needed it most. I hope the next occupants will love my home as much as I have.
https://www.forbes.com>health>aging-in-place-statistics -and-facts-in-2024
https://gero.usc.edu>About>Our>Field>the-value-of-aging-in-place