Are you a lexophiliac?

(I realize you all may be tuned into the solar eclipse today, but while you wait for those few minutes of darkness, here is something to distract you!)
LEXOPHILIA
Although not in the dictionary, it is reported that a “Lexophile” describes a person who loves sentences such as, “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish,” and, “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.”

An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile. Here are this year’s submissions:

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.

I know a guy who is addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.  

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married.  They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two-tired. 

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.  That’s the point of it.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils? 

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.
What are your favorites?

4 thoughts on “Are you a lexophiliac?”

  1. as always it was a great way to start Monday . they were all good. I couldn’t pick a favorite. Thank you

  2. These are great. I laughed out loud at a number. I guess my favorite is a will is a dead giveaway.

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