Since many of our subscribers are also caregivers, we thought you would appreciate this thoughtful piece by Donna Thomson, that appeared originally in The Caregivers’ Living Room (www.donnathomson.com), a blog for family caregivers. Donna is the co-author (with Dr. Zachary White) of The Unexpected Journey of Caring: The Transformation From Loved One to Caregiver (Rowman & Littlefield, 2019). Donna would appreciate your feedback!
https://www.donnathomson.com/2022/09/the-perfect-fake-independence.html
Can we do both? Be clear-eyed and honest about what the loved one can NOT do, while also emphasizing what they CAN do? I try to practice that — with my loved one and with myself, too.
Hi Fran, I’m Donna, the author of this post and I’m a lifelong caregiver. I so agree with you about this approach of “walking two roads” – the first being realism about dependency needs and the second about building up capacity and hope. Thank you for pointing out this important perspective! – Donna
Thank you for sharing this article – as I am now 90 years old, I have been at both ends, as a caregiver, and now requiring care myself – it felt very good rading all this informaition. Sent with love, Ursula
Oh, how generous of you to post your reflection here. Thank you! – Donna Thomson (author of this post)
Thank you for your thoughtfulness in taking the time to share all of this wisdom with others. This one is a keeper.