Here are some things to think about (don’t let them keep you awake all night) —
Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
Money talks … but all mine ever says is good-bye.
You’re not fat, you’re just… easier to see.
If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments on your mortgage or credit card.
I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penney has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”
My 60-year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Claraand, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
If a poison’s “use by” date expires, is it less poisonous or more poisonous?
Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?
Do twins ever realize that one of them was unplanned?
Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn’t it be called double V?
Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you, and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty
100 years ago, everyone owned a horse, and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them
Why does the word “Funeral” start with FUN?
Why isn’t a fireman called a waterman?
How come Lipstick doesn’t do what it says?
If money doesn’t grow on trees, how come banks have branches?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
Why do we put cups in the dishwasher, and dishes in the cupboard?
Why is it called “Rush Hour” when traffic moves at its slowest then?
Who thinks all this stuff up? Probably retired people who do not have much to do or those stuck in isolation because of Covid ! Which ones are your favorites? Let us know!