I started researching articles about fears of aging about a month ago to write this post. One of my goals was to firm up my belief that aging is just another stage in our long lives and one that can be lived and enjoyed to the fullest. Anyone who knows me is probably aware that aging has never really been a big issue for me. I have no problem in telling people that I am turning 77 this month. I have never felt old or vulnerable but will the Coronavirus affect how I feel about this from now on?
On a daily basis I hear from the media and my family that I am way too old to continue my normal life of going and coming whenever I want to. Prior to this virus, my life was filled with friends, volunteering, meals out, mahjong and doing whatever I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Our senior center, library, Conejo Valley Village activities, volunteering, meals out have all come to an abrupt stop. Instead of days filled with activities and involvement, days will be spent isolated in our homes. which we all know is not ideal for seniors particularly for those of us living alone.
When I woke up this morning, I realized that without my dogs it would have been ever so tempting just to roll over and stay under my fluffy comforter. I have always considered myself to be a strong, resilient woman and have gotten through some tough times as have most of the seniors I am fortunate to know. Dealing with long periods of isolation can be very difficult for anyone but especially for the many seniors who live alone and are not near family.
I am convinced we will make it through this if we support each other by keeping in touch and helping in ways that are safe for everyone. Our Conejo Valley Village book group is meeting on Zoom and I just received an invite to a restorative yoga class also on Zoom. I have had Babbel on my computer for months but not had time to use it. Well now I have plenty of time and may speak fluent Spanish when we are back to business as usual, which we will be. If we all simply reach out to others and take baby steps for ourselves like getting outside, reading books we have not had time to read or learning something new, we will be make it through to the other side of this virus. Please share any ideas you have for making this work for us all.
I hope you will now continue to read my original version of this post on why some of the fears we have about conditions that always accompany aging are simply not accurate.
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This should be a very stress-free time of life for me. I am very fortunate to live in the home I love, feel financially secure, seem to have general good health and most important a wonderful supportive family. So why should I ever have worries or concerns about growing older?
Fear of aging is one of the most common fears there is. The name for an abnormal, incessant fear of aging or growing older is Gerascophobia. Gerascophobia can be associated with anxieties about being left alone without resources and incapable of caring for oneself.
Some of the most common, but not accurate, reasons given for the fear of aging are as follows:
- Older People Always Get Sick and Experience Chronic Pain. No one can exclude themselves from some age-related pain and illness and some diseases are more common as we age. However, this does not mean aging is always associated with poor health or being confined to a wheelchair. Research has shown that 1 of 4 older Americans has poor nutrition which can weaken your muscles and bones and make you more susceptible to disease. Proper nutrition and exercise are critical to enjoying a healthy later life.
- Memory Loss and Confusion Are Inevitable, Life-Changing Parts of Aging. The CDC says that although there are normal age-related changes in memory and thinking, confusion and memory loss that interfere with your daily living are not normal parts of aging. While 5.8 million Americans have dementia, this is not a considered a normal part of the aging process.
- Older People No Longer Contribute to the World. Quite the contrary. Millions of people 65 and older volunteer every year and including the 55-64 demographic brings the number up to 35 percent of our entire population of volunteers. The Corporation for National and Community Services estimated that 20.7 million senior adults contributed more than 3.3 billion hours of service to their communities. They estimated the economic value of these services at $75 billion dollars. Many grandparents care for grandchildren now making it possible for their parents to be remain in the work force and provide for their families. According to Bloomberg, 20 percent of those over 65 have not retired. It is very obvious that many seniors continue to be productive valuable members of society.
- Older People Become Isolated, Grumpy and Unhappy. According to AARP the assumption that grumpiness and unhappiness go along with grey hair and wrinkles is simply wrong. “Older people tend to be happier than the general population,” according to Dr. Heidi White, a Professor of Geriatric Medicine at Duke University. She says these negative stereotypes are because we are still an ageist society and misunderstand older adults. Most of us are relatively content, patient and experience some mellowing in attitudes. A phenomenon called the Positivity Effect often sets in where we remember the good over the bad.
According to an article in Business Insider, research has shown that people report their highest level of happiness after 55 in their financial situation, their physical appearance (where they reach their peak satisfaction after 70) and their overall well being. Overall happiness peaks at 23 and again at 69. A Bank of America/Merrill Lynch report said there is “scientific evidence that people get happier as they get older.” The report said that while theories differ as to why this is, most agree that it is an acceptance of aging that promotes contentedness.”
If we recognize that we are not all grumpy, in pain and forgetful, maybe we can begin to look at normal aging in a more favorable light.
Sources:
www.cdc.gov>publications>features>dementia-not-normal-aging
www.aarp.org/health-healthy-living/info-2018/grump-old-men-myths
www.bloomberg.com/April 22 2019 America’s Elderly Are Twice as Likely to Work Now Than in 1985
www.Business Insider, Mark Abadi, The ages people are happiest with their money, their looks, and their life, in one chart. December 9 2017
www.nationalservice.gov>newsroom>press-releases/2015/value-senior -volunteers-US- economy-75 -billion