Thanks to Marvin L. Chaney, my neighbor, for these wonderful Limericks that will make you smile and maybe even wince a little.
Regarding the Virus
Though the virus in toto is tiny,
It ends up a big pain in the heinie.
Microscopically viewed,
It exudes attitude—
It’s replete with protrusions quite spiny.
The list grows of what’s deemed impermissible,
‘Cause the virus is so darned transmissible.
Through the air it deft passes
To infect lads and lasses.
On the upside, your spouse is still kissable!
This corona’s a virus with spikes,
And it sickens whomever it likes.
Co-morbidities loom
That can speed to the tomb
Once the virus those weakened cruel strikes.
A new lexicon lately I’ve learned.
“PPE” has the “ER” concerned.
There’s “corona”—not beer!—
“COVID-19” to fear,
“Intubation”—a fate to be spurned.
On the Experience of Cabin Fever
Cabin fever we’ve all learned to know.
Why dress up when there’s nowhere to go?
Sure, there’s “Face Time” and “Zoom,”
But we only need groom
From waist up, for there’s naught else will show!
Though it raises no temp you can gauge,
Cabin fever cries, “Out of this cage!”
But before you run wild,
Remind your inner child
That this virus rears temps that can rage!
We have all read our eyeballs quite red.
Then we’ve tried watching reruns instead,
With results much the same.
Are we wrong to exclaim
That quite up with this virus we’re fed?!*
(*Ending a sentence with a preposition is a syntactic error up with which I simple cannot put!)
Patient patients are darned hard to find.
We’re not patient with being confined.
But with age comes good sense.
That includes self-defense.
“Stay at home” must not be undermined.
On the Wearing of Masks
It’s incumbent to wear that darned mask.
Just one thing makes me take it to task—
How it plagues and harasses
When it fogs up my glasses!
Is a defogger too much to ask?
If a mask isn’t N-95,
To our virus it’s just so much jive.
Our infectant’s so small,
It quite sails through them all.
To catch droplets all lesser masks strive.
I’m unmasking the truth about masks—
Why their wearing is one of our tasks.
Unless N-95,
One won’t keep you alive.
It’s for others’ sake one humbly asks.
It is not for yourself that you wear it.
If all symptoms you lack, so you bare it,
You may be vector still,
And make others quite ill.
Wear your mask when you out-of-your-lair it!
Just by wearing a mask when we’re out,
We engage in a great turnabout.
For if I respect you,
And you me, ‘twill ensue
That transmission we both may thus flout.
Do you recognize old friends and new?
It was easy with full face to view.
But now one of ours tasks
When we’re out is, “Wear masks!”
Hidden face can discernment undo.
We have joined an ambiguous crowd.
They are all with one feature endowed.
Most who banks rob are there,
The Lone Ranger—with flare!
Masked like them we can scarce speak aloud!
On the Importance of Testing
A pandemic is best faced with science.
Upon data and facts there’s reliance.
Tests repeated and wide,
When expertly applied,
Can engender both trust and compliance.
We need tests both prolific and true.
That’s what well-run societies do
In this time of pandemic.
No solutions alchemic
Should pollute the remedial stew.
We know testing is step number one.
It’s not perfect and must be redone.
Should test positive place,
There are contacts to trace.
Isolation must then be begun.
On Our State of Mind
At each ache and each sniffle we’ve winced,
Since our fears have us all half-convinced
That we’re just on the brink
Of infection—we think.
Of such worry our minds should be rinsed.
It’s okay if we’re not all okay.
We see death tolls mount up day by day.
When stark losses bereave,
It’s quite healthy to grieve.
No retreat can keep bad news away.
The real task is to process our grief.
To repress it provides no relief.
It takes both tears and mirth
To effect our rebirth.
Loved ones oft can our sorrow debrief.
One thing’s certain—a whole lot will change.
E’en the wisest can’t know the full range.
Change for good? Change for ill?
Or some mix stranger still?
Love can meld us; hate tries to estrange.
On Life-and-Death Priorities
Who determines who lives and who dies?
Do we really want Lord of the Flies?
Are lives equally dear,
Or are some cause to sneer?
The pandemic lays bare what we prize.
Where’s infection spread deadly and quick?
Nursing homes that mass aged and sick.
Prisons climb off the chart.
Packing plants play grim part.
For the homeless, it’s one last, cruel kick!
Is it color-blind when it cruel kills?
No, this virus exacerbates ills
That already exist
On society’s list.
In the humble, it terror instills.